One of the more intriguing aspects of the Eliot Spitzer sex scandal was the sight of his wife, Silda, at his side during his press conference before the media. As I saw her my initial reaction was, predictably, "Wow, how could she subject herself to such public humiliation when she obviously is going through such pain?" Wearing a dazed looked reminiscent of a boxer who had just been sucker punched to the stomach, Mrs. Spitzer patiently stood by as Mr. Spitzer vaguely alluded to his indiscretions before the media. Your heart had to go out to her.
I also thought, "There's no way I'd dare ask my wife to perform similar marital duties had I been caught in such a similar situation." She would have my flat ass, on a silver platter.
Upon nearly twenty-four hours reflection, my thinking has changed, somewhat. First, we've been here before. Who couldn't have thought about the Hillary and Bill Clinton dog and pony show during the sordid and eerily similar Monica Lewinsky affair? Second, being neither rich or powerful, I can't place myself in the shoes of the Spitzers or the Clintons, or any of the others. The rich (and the powerful) are different from you or I, in more ways than we can imagine.
My previous theory about these situations remains basically unchanged - these wives at some point in their marriages have made a deal with the devil, literally. In for a penny in for a pound. Additionally, most of the theater of politics is about what is presented to the public and not what transpires behind closed doors. Politicians wives eventually must become politicians themselves, if the political marital entity is to survive and prosper.
I won't judge Eliot Spitzer's behavior, but I do question his judgment as the Governor of New York. I mean come on, engaging the service of prostitutes? Even though he was snared due to his financial dealings, what would make him think that such behavior wouldn't eventually be disclosed? Now he faces certain disbarment, loss of his political office, and potentially, jail time. More importantly, his familial relationships with his wife and children have been damaged, and possibly destroyed.
CNN's television coverage of the situation has raised, in my mind, further thoughts on this type of mess. Alan Dershowitz, who taught Spitzer at Harvard Law and who has come to Spitzer's defense, engaged in a suprisingly (even for Dershowitz) nasty exchange with a female commentator (sorry, but I didn't catch her name or title) about the message that Silda Spitzer's and others "stand by their man" stance sends to young women/adolescent girls. The commentator argued that such a stance by these wives sends the wrong message to women that it's okay to engage in such sordid behavior. She argued that because of the high-profile public nature of their husbands careers, the wives, being the sacrificial lambs, have no real choice but to publicly support their husbands.
Dershowitz angrily defended Mrs. Spitzer and others like her, arguing that these women indeed had a choice in the matter and they made that choice. He vehemently told the commentator, in no uncertain terms, to mind her own business.
The exchange begs the question, "What did Mrs. Spitzer know about her husband's indiscretions?" Does it strain credulity, in these modern times, to speculate that she may have known about his behavior, and possibly even accepted it? I also have to reluctantly agree with both of the combatants on this issue. First, I hope that parents are at least censoring this type of news story from children under the age of thirteen. Further, public support of spouses in these types of affairs does send a confusing message to adolescents and young adults - it's okay to cheat, you can be forgiven. Perhaps the spouses in these matters should simply refrain from public appearance or comments.
Alternatively, the family relationship and associated dynamic in these situations is none of our business. Who hasn't been in a situation in our relationships where a mistake was made, where we hoped that in spite of the violation of the spirit of the relationship, that the greater good of love and/or survival of the family relationship would prevail? The Spitzer's family relationship is a private matter and their business. Judge not, that ye be not judged.
Another interesting aspect of the coverage of the story was the analysis of a sexual addiction counselor (again, I must apologize because I didn't catch his name) of why it seems that powerful and highly intelligent men so often engage in this clearly foolish behavior. Although his analysis was painfully obvious, it bears repeating.
He explained, in these cases, the intellectual thought process and the emotional drive operate on separate, and clearly non-parallel planes. An emotional and intellectual cross-wiring and disconnect, so to speak.
Personally, the Spitzer scandal is irritating and disappointing. The so-called "Sheriff of Wall Street," Eliot Spitzer was a minor hero to me - I thought he was an impressive guy and he seemed to be an aggressive and spirited champion of the public interest, regardless of his motivation. Later, as he entered politics, disturbing aspects about him began to surface, but I had hoped that those issues were aberrations. Apparently not. What a shame.
On a brighter note, I've stumbled across a really cool music blog, "floodwatchmusic.com, Punching the Sky Since 2006." This guy really loves music of all types: jazz, rock, indie, pop, etc., and is my idea of what a blog should be all about. A bonus is that he provides downloadable MP3's on the site. Once I get the time to figure out how to do it, I'll provide a link to his site on my blog. Check it out.
N.B. CNN News is reporting that Governor Spitzer is expected to resign today, Wednesday, March 12, 2008.
No Diggity
